I've dated this this man for 3 years, but before hand we were best friends and he waited on me while I explored, and that damaged him pretty badly. We broke up because of me, yet again and (let's just say I learned the hard way) I want to commit to him. He says that he has aspirations and goals to marry me, have children with me, and settle down with me, but right now he needs space. One second he invites me over, and we're together for weeks, and then one day he flips out

It sounds to me like you nailed it when you say that you hurt him. He gets together with you for a while, and then he gets scared and retreats. He's afraid of getting hurt again. I don't know what you can say or do to make him trust the relationship. I do know that actions always speak louder than words, so it's probably best to give him what he asks for: Space. Tell him how you feel, something along the lines of, "I'll miss you, but I know you need this."

That keeps you honest without pressuring him. If he truly wants to start over, he needs room to decide that for himself. Pushing him now could make him retreat even more. Give the situation a little breathing room and let his actions tell you the truth. When he takes his space, is he free to date other people? Are you? If you don't know, ask him. If he's dating, he can't expect you not to date. If he's not dating, don't date. The goal is to build trust.

Without that kind of clarity, both of you can end up guessing and getting hurt again. Make sure the ground rules are clear before you step back. He says he'll come around when he's ready, but there's no guarantee he'll ever be ready, so you have to face that possibility. Ask yourself if you're truly willing to take a chance on this guy by being patient, or if you'll get itchy and start looking around again. I'm thinking good thoughts for you. Good luck.